Snooze on the Move

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To continue reading great posts about sleep, dreams, and waking well–just click here.

Q&A: My Dreams are Back … But Why?

Q: Hey, Tzivia! I’m wondering if this makes any sense to you. After years of barely being able to remember most of my dreams (either just nothing or too scrambled to recall), in the past week I’ve started having ‘normal’ memories – like I used to have – of one or two dreams a night. And as if that weren’t enough, while I usually rarely dream of people I know, these dreams are long stories about significant people in my life.

Signed,

Perplexed (and Pleased) in Massachusetts

A: I once had a beautiful black cat named Nim. My vet warned me not to let her outside, and instead to make her a house cat, so she’d have a better chance at a long, safe life. If I let her outside, he cautioned, she could be hit by a car, scooped up by a bird of prey, or meet any number of unfortunate fates.

Now, at the risk of opening up a debate about the proper care of domesticated cats–when it’s dreams I want to talk about (I promise, I’ll get to those soon)–I will tell you that I decided to let her out.

She was a wild one, that cat. A stray when I found her, she never seemed completely at home–well–at home. She loved to be outdoors where she’d roam, stalk, chase, and run. Then she’d come back inside where she’d curl up in the best spot on the sofa, or of course, the bed.

I knew I was taking a chance each time I let her out. But most days, when I whistled for her to come back inside, she’d prance happily to the door. Still, a few times a year she would stay out for one, two, or even three nights at a time.

On those nights I’d worry that the vet had been right, and I’d unnecessarily subjected my cat to danger. But then she’d show up on the stoop wearing a smug expression on her face, as if she were savoring the memory of some tasty escapade.

I’d instantly forgive her the pain she’d caused me, and be filled with happiness at her return. But I’d also feel–perplexed.

What made her run off seemed simple enough: a mouse to chase, another neighborhood cat to visit, the itch to travel. But what brought her back? The memory of the soft sofa cushion? Her hunger for canned cat food? I’ll never know.

And so, my Perplexed Pal, we have the same issue with our wild and wonderful dreams.

It seems that if we want to keep dreams reliably by our side, all we can do is create the right conditions for them to come to us. Like a cat, they like their independence, they like to be handled in just the right way, and they are far too dignified to submit to being leashed.

To invite our dreams to stay we need to get to bed at a decent hour and wake up slowly  so we don’t scare them away with jangling alarms or sudden bright sunlight. But sometimes, even when we do the best we can to domesticate them, our dreams slink away, mysterious as a black cat in the night.

To solve the puzzle of your newly returned dreams, look for what might have changed in your life to have whistled them back. It could be anything from diet, to sleep habits, to methods of waking up, to shifts in daytime consciousness (feeling more relaxed…or more anxious), and even hormonal fluctuations.

That’s the scientist’s approach, based on reason and observation. But as with my feral feline friend, logic doesn’t always work–especially with something as bewildering as dreams.

Despite the conventional recommendations for recalling dreams, sometimes dreams operate under laws of their own. They run off sometimes, but then they return–when they’re good and ready.

 

In any case, I’m glad to see that you are not only perplexed … but also pleased about this turn of events!

I believe dreams are a great gift and offer us guidance, wisdom, and healing. Show yours that you’re happy they’ve returned. Write them down, tell them to a friend or dream therapist. And most of all, enjoy them.

In the meantime, may you dream & be well,

Tz.

PS. Oh, and as for my cat Nim, she lived to a ripe old age, surviving not only the perils of the world outside our back door, but also various other pets that we took into our home over the years, including an overly territorial cat–as well as a baby girl who grew to be a curious toddler and a sometimes mischievous child–and then a doting friend and devoted animal lover–who sometimes remembers her dreams.

PSS.

Be in touch if you’d like to work on any of those newly recovered dreams.

© 2016 Tzivia Gover

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Tzivia Gover

Author of Joy in Every Moment

MFA, Certified Dream Therapist

How to interpret your dreams

We’ve all had wacky dreams that we just can’t explain, but what if there actually was some sort of meaning behind it all?

Click here to watch the video: 

http://wwlp.com/2016/03/04/how-to-interpret-your-dreams/

Source: How to interpret your dreams

Declaring March 4th a Holiday

March 4th is the only day of the year that is a full sentence. (Get it? March forth.) Therefore, I have declared 3/4 to be a new holiday which I am calling “Click It Day.” To honor this day, choose something you are ready to let go of (an old grudge, an outdated belief, an unhelpful attitude) so this March 4th you can March Forth into a new chapter of your beautiful life.

While you’re deciding what you want to let go of on March 4th, here’s a little story for you to read about how I learned the value of clicking it.

Here’s my story:

Click It

After my relationship of nearly two decades ended, I asked my father how he managed to find happiness again after my mother left him, back when I was a teen. “Click it, kid,” he said.

“Click it?” I asked.

My father came of age in the 1950s and still carries himself like the Naval lieutenant he once was. He’s a man of the “big boys don’t cry era.” So ,it wasn’t surprising when he explained in his typically terse manner, “You just decide to move forward and not look back. You ‘click it’,” he repeated, as if this were an obvious solution.

Bad Advice Turns Good

“Click it” seemed to mean I should stuff my emotions  away and paste a happy smile over my broken heart. So, at first I wrote my father’s advice off. If I needed help balancing my budget or deciding when it was time to buy or sell a house, he was the man to turn to. But I scolded myself for thinking he could help me sort out matters of the heart.

But then, five years later, and after countless therapy sessions and even more hours spent crying on the shoulders of well-meaning friends–not to mention exhausting my ample supply of self-help books, I finally decided it was time to consider my father’s advice.

I had mourned enough. By now feeling had turned into wallowing. My emotions were no longer in motion. In short, I was stuck. Nothing else was helping so why not try to click it?

So on March 4th of that year, I vowed to “march forth” into a new chapter. I enlisted the support of my friends and my therapist. I explained that wanted their support in helping me to let go of the past and look forward to the future.

Marching Forth, Mindfully

Beginning on March 4th of that year, if someone asked about my love life, instead of telling a sorrowful story about my break up, I’d say, “I have a life filled with love from family and friends.” If I found myself longing for my past relationship, I’d think instead about future possibilities, or better yet, I’d bring myself into the present moment with a few mindful breaths.

Once I “clicked it” I focused on what I did have: a loving daughter, a close-knit extended family, a great job, and more. I even began to fall in love with the solitude of living by myself.

Part fake it till you make it, part breaking old habits of seeing the glass half empty, I discovered that click it, when the time is ripe, really could be healing, healthy, and helpful.

Ever since, I’ve declared March 4th to be “Click it Day.” Each year I choose another old grievance or tired story to retire on that day. If there’s something I find myself talking negatively about: My age, my appearance, my career, or the state of some relationship, I click it.

Ready to Click It? Start Here

• Feeling afraid–click into feeling brave instead. Adventures involve risk — and opportunity.
• They say you can only think one thought at a time … the choice is usually between a thought based in love or a thought based in fear. Click it: Choose the loving thought instead.
• Are you complaining about some aspect of your life? Click it: Think about three things you’re grateful for instead. Then resolve to change what you can and learn to accept what you can’t.

Introducing the Click It Theme Song

Just substitute the words “Click It” for “Whip It” … and voila! The Click It Theme song is born:

And now for a word from our sponsor:

Bring more JOY along with you as you March Forth. My new book helps lead the way!

 

 

Quote Unquote: Why We Need One Another

“The Unrelated human being lacks wholeness, for he can achieve wholeness only through the soul and the soul cannot exist without its other side, which is always found in a ‘You'”.

–CGJung, Word and Image, p. 125

Quote Unquote: The Power of a Post

The Butterfly Effect*–Social Media Style

The following quote was published in 1973, decades before the advent of Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. Its importance has multiplied exponentially since then.

“Any word you speak this afternoon will radiate out in all directions, around town before tomorrow, out and around the world before Tuesday, accelerating to the speed of light, modulating as it goes, shaping new and unexpected messages, emerging at the end as an enormously funny Hungarian joke, a fluctuation in the money market, a poem, or simply a long pause in someone’s conversation in Brazil.”

from the essay “Computers” in The Lives of a Cell, by Lewis Thomas

And the moral for today is: 

Post Mindfully

*The Butterfly Effect is the idea that a small change in one part of the world (i.e. the fluttering of a butterfly’s wing) can have a great impact somewhere else entirely.

For more thoughts on 
MINDFUL APPROACHES TO TECHNOLOGY
click here.

Encore: White Feather Finery

 

Dreams, Synchronicities, and Celebrations

A Blog Post in (more than) 3-Installments

This post is the Final Installment (yes, I really do mean final this time) in a series about how dreams and dream imagery help guide me through waking life.

To read the 1^st installment of “Wedding for One: Dreams, Synchronicities, and Celebrations” in which our protagonist dreams of receiving a wedding proposal…but receives a business proposal to become Director of the Institute of Dream Studies instead …  click here.

For the 2^nd Installment, in which the protagonist receives a sign – from a Spider – that she is on the right path, click here.

You can read the 3^rd Installment, in which our protagonist’s “Wedding for One” dream turns into a date for one here.

THE FINAL INSTALLMENT:

Encore! White Feather Finery

After my mother’s death last spring, every time I saw a feathery seedpod float through the air (and somehow there were many more that season than I ever remember seeing before) I was certain that my mother’s spirit was close by.

I remembered this as I sat in my second-row seat at a concert recently. I was out on a solo date with myself, enjoying Jane Siberry’s music. And now she was delivering a lyric in which she said that every time she saw a feather drift by, she felt her beloved near her.

These words brought back to mind all of those floating feathery messengers from the spring when I lost my mother. Tears filled my eyes.

Also, I couldn’t help but notice how all of the themes of my recent dreams were coming together now, especially with this reminder of the feathers that marked the season of loss during which the recurring wedding dreams had begun.

And now, Siberry’s show was ending. She came to the piano  for her encore, and began her final song.

And wouldn’t you know it? She sang k.d. lang’s “Love is Everything.” Which, as it turns out, was one of the songs on the CD that I played again and as I sat at my mother’s bedside while she lay dying. What’s more, it is the song that I chose to include in the photo slide show I created after her death, as a memorial and a tribute to her life that was so filled with love and beauty.

As I like to say, dreams multi-task. As do synchronicities.

I’d had the sense back in June, when Justina proposed the directorship of the Institute for Dream Studies to me, that my mother had a hand in it—that from where she sat in Heaven she was helping guide me; that she was smiling at and through me, and that she wanted only for my best dreams to come true.

And so, the proposal has been made and accepted. And now it’s time for me to step into my commitment to my dreams, to my love of teaching, and the creative possibilities of helping others to make dreams come true.

It’s just what happens when a girl follows her dreams, and says, “I do.”

My mother, in her final year, contemplates the feathery finery of a common flower gone to seed.

ZZzzZZzzZZ

Make your dreams come true. Consider embarking on a dream education program that might just change your life. Dream big, sign up to receive more information about exploring your dreams and pursuing a Certification in Dream Studies.

Click here for information about the Institute for Dream Studies.

zzZZzzZZzz

Hear Jane Siberry singing “Love is Everything.” (Have a tissue handy.)

ZZzzZZzzZZ

This is the final post in

“Wedding for One: Dreams, Synchronicities, and Celebration”

A blog post in (more than) 3 Installments

…

But you never do know when it comes to dreams and synchronicities

… There may still be more to come …

On a date for one

Dreams, Synchronicities, and Celebrations

A Blog Post in 3-Installments

This post is the 3rd installment in a series about how dreams and dream imagery help guide me through waking life.

To read the 1^st installment of “Wedding for One: Dreams, Synchronicities, and Celebrations.” in which our protagonist dreams of receiving a wedding proposal…but receives a business proposal to become Director of the Institute of Dream Studies instead …  click here.

For the 2^nd Installment, in which the protagonist receives a sign – from a Spider – that she is on the right path, click here.

And now, read on for the 3^rd Installment, in which our protagonist’s “Wedding for One” dream turns into …

Part III: A Date for One

And so, I accepted Justina’s proposal that I take over the directorship of the Institute for Dream Studies.

Months had passed, and much work was involved in ironing out the details of our plan. Finally, as the year was drawing to a close, Justina and I were just about ready to finalize our business agreement and announce our new venture to the world. We agreed that on Jan. 1 I’d officially step into my new role as Director of the Institute for Dream Studies.

But then I remembered my “Wedding for One” dream, in which my wedding (sans groom) took place on Feb. 3. I also remembered that in Justina’s dream studies course, the one I had graduated from years earlier, she encouraged us to find a way to honor our dreams in our waking lives. So, I asked her if, in honor of my dream, we could make Feb. 3 the date that we would celebrate the start of our new venture. And of course, she agreed.

(Not) The End

That would have made a lovely ending to a sweet and meaningful story about how dreams and synchronicities can help us take the next step on our paths, and affirm and confirm the direction we’re taking … and so on. But there was more.

In late January I noticed that Jane Siberry, a performer whose music I’ve loved since my college days, would be giving a concert in my town. I wanted to get tickets quickly before they sold out. But when I asked my boyfriend if he’d like to be my date for the concert, he declined. Siberry’s off-beat music wasn’t to his taste, and besides, the concert was on a weeknight and he had to be at work early the next morning. “Would you mind if I passed on that one?” he asked. No problem, I’d invite a friend to join me instead, I said. But as it turned out, none of my friends could make it on such short notice either, so I decided to take myself out on a date—solo!

It wasn’t until I was seated in the second row of the concert hall that I made the connection: Here it was, Feb. 3, and not only was I celebrating the launch of my new business endeavor (the result of accepting a proposal from Justina), but also, I was on a “Date for One” … a satisfying echo of my “Wedding for One” dream.

I smiled to myself at the synchronicity.

And then, Jane Siberry took to the stage. She opened the concert by speaking the lyrics to one of her songs, in which she said, “Life is a precious ring you give to yourself.”

Excuse me? Did I hear that right? Now, to add to the “Wedding for One” theme I had the image of a bride giving herself a ring! I liked that. After all, my accepting the directorship of the Institute for Dream Studies was, in a sense, saying “I do” to my own dream; in this case it was my dream of making a commitment to my deep interest in exploring dreams, and helping others to connect to their dreams.

I smiled, aglow from the ways the synchronicities were unfolding, and aglow with the pure pleasure of Siberry’s music, and her message of self-love (there we go again), and self-expression. I had the happy feeling of being in the right place at the right time.

Which, once more, would have made for a lovely note on which to end this story. But, as it turns out …

…the synchronicities weren’t done with me yet. …

 

Encore! Encore!

Stay tuned for the final final installment of “Wedding for One: Dreams, Synchronicities, and Celebration”

A blog post in (more than) 3 Installments

… yup, there’s still a bit more to come …

So now you know. As the new director of the Institute of Dream Studies I will be launching a dream education and certification program this fall. Stay tuned for details, or contact me to receive information as it becomes available.

Cheers and great gratitude to Justina Lasley, Founder of the Institute of Dream Studies! I am honored to have the opportunity to continue the dream.

Justina Lasley

 

 

The (Dream)Webs We Weave

Dreams, Synchronicities, and Celebrations

A Blog Post in 3-Installments

This blog post is the 2nd installment in a series about how dreams and dream imagery help guide me through waking life.

To read the 1^st installment of“Wedding for One: Dreams, Synchronicities, and Celebrations.” in which our protagonist dreams of receiving a wedding proposal…but receives a business proposal to become Director of the Institute of Dream Studies instead …  click here.

When a dream scenario or a dream image repeats, I pay attention. So when I dreamed first about a “Wedding for One,” and then “A Proposal,” I was on my toes.

But brides and weddings weren’t the only dream images that were recurring …

Part 2: Enter the Spider

As my friend Sherry and I drove home from the dream conference we talked over Justina’s proposal, that I take over the directorship of The Institute of Dream Studies. The Institute was Justina’s school, from which I had graduated in 2011. Now, Justina was ready to take her career in a new direction, and she’d asked me to consider taking up the leadership of the dream school.

Several hours into our drive, Sherry and I had considered numerous pros and cons of my possibly moving in this direction. I love to teach, I love dreams, and I had various ideas as to how I’d like to design a dream studies curriculum. By the time we pulled into the parking lot of a restaurant where we’d have dinner, Sherry suggested it was time we put the question aside for the moment. “We’ve used our left brains on this question enough,” she said. “Now see what your dreams have to say.”

As dreamers, we take seriously the directive to “Sleep on it” when making a big decision. In fact, six years earlier, when I first applied to take part in the Institute of Dream Studies’ Dream Certification course, Justina advised me to consult my dreams before making up my mind. I followed her suggestion, and the next morning I woke from a dream that featured a large spider.

For me, spiders, with their unique skills at web-building, represent creativity and interconnection, as well as the art of storytelling. In addition, spiderwebs remind me of dream catchers, those intricately woven Native American talismans that are said to ward off nightmares. So, I decided that my dream spider was an encouraging sign.

My Dream Catcher

Now, years later, here I was again, deciding whether to deepen my commitment to dreams, and to the Institute of Dream Studies, which Justina had founded. This time however, the question was a bit different. If I accepted this proposal, I would be making a commitment not only to my own dreams, but I’d be committing to train more people, including therapists, spiritual counselors, health care providers, and people who were simply fascinated by dreams, to become leaders in the field of dream studies. Then they in turn would encourage even more people to learn from and about their dreams–thus widening the web of dream teachers and dream experts.

And so it was that Sherry and I agreed to table our discussion about my decision for the time being. Sherry cut the engine and we were about to get out of the car and head into the restaurant, when we noticed something on the windshield.

I began to laugh. “What’s so funny?” Sherry asked.

I pointed to the large spider that was climbing up the windshield wiper blade. “Looks like I won’t need to go to sleep to get a dream to guide me,” I said.

It was Sherry, after all, who had taught me the art of synchronicity. Ever since I’ve known her, Sherry has been instructing me (primarily by example) as to how synchronicities, or meaningful coincidences, increase as we pay attention to messages from our dreams. Not only that, I learned from her that we can deepen our understanding of life events and gain valuable information to help us make decisions when we take careful note of recurring themes in our dreams and synchronicities–which I’ve come to think of as waking dreams.

The spider, appearing in this moment, was just such a synchronicity. It was as if the Universe were winking at me—offering a sweet, sly smile to remind me that I was on the right path.

The task now was to keep paying attention. The goal here was not necessarily to expect a yes or no answer based on signs and symbols (our subconscious doesn’t function as a binary system), but instead to stay conscious as I took one step at a time, noticing the pattern that was being woven all around me—from the stuff of dreams.

ZZZZzzzzZZZZ

Ahh…but that spider was hardly the end of the story. Stay tuned for the next installment of “Wedding for One: Dreams, Synchronicities, and Celebrations.”

ZZzzZZzz

Spoiler alert: If you want to know whether or not I accepted Justina’s proposal, click here. Otherwise, enjoy the suspense until the next post in this series.

Why I <3 Facebook Birthdays

Today is my birthday. But if you’re one of my 1200+ Facebook friends, you already know that, because Facebook broadcasts the news. And I love it! My 8 Facebook birthdays to date have been among my favorites, in part thanks to Facebook.

But the cynics in the crowd will grumble and complain that the cornucopia of well-wishes that pile up on our profile pages on a Facebook birthday are just one more example of the shallow connections fostered on social media, because really, how could any of us truly know all of those “friends”, or even the dozens who post birthday wishes to our profile pages.

Well, sure. But then there’s this.

1. It really is fun to log onto Facebook and read dozens of birthday wishes, even if I haven’t actually met every well-wisher in the bunch. (Really, I’d like to.)
2. Lots of those greetings actually are from people I deeply love and care about. And lots are from people I care about but rarely see, so it’s a treat to hear from them. And lots are from people I’d love to get to know more. So thank you…every one.
3. And even better–on the 364 days that are NOT my birthday–FB reminds me that at least 3 or 4 of my FB friends are having their birthdays. And I get the opportunity to send some birthday love their way. And that feels good, because I know I’ll help add to their Facebook-Birthday glow.

And it could be even better:

What if in addition to reminding us each day that several of our friends are having birthdays, FB reminded us each day that there are several people among our friends who we should APPRECIATE each day!

Facebook could send out daily  “Thank-A-Friend” suggestions using some random algorithm–just as they now do when they suggest people we might want to add as FB Friends, or FB groups we might like to join.

But why wait? In the meantime, we could just do it ourselves. Decide today to choose three people from your Facebook Friends list and post a message on their page saying why you appreciate them.

If the people lead, maybe Facebook will follow.

July 7, 1965

Let’s get the Facebook love flowing. Share this post on your timeline, and tag three friends you appreciate, and tell them why.